Sunday, February 14, 2010

Written September 5, 2008 - "Inside my heart"


To My Husband,

I'm not sure I can truly express the way I feel in words. I'm staring my future in the face and I've never been more ready for it. In 38 days everything we have dreamed of will come true. As I sit here and think of how close it all is my heart begins to race faster then my breath knows how to keep up. I find myself sitting in a daze staring at the wall listening to our favorite songs. I lose track of time and all sense of reality. I'm ready baby, I want it all, everything and I still can't believe its so near. I'm nervous.. how will it feel to have you in arms reach again..to feel your lips on mine and hold your body against me, To have you be the last thing I see before I sleep and the first thing in the morning. The emotion is overwhelming and brings me to tears.
It's been 9 months, 9 long hard months. Although we have been separated we still found a way to keep this bond between each other strong and thriving. We've fallen more in love then we ever thought possible. We got through the toughest of times and experienced things we wished we never would have, and yet still we stand here and share a love that most people can only wish for.

Jonathan, you mean everything to me and I respect you so much. You're my mentor, my rock***, my Husband and my best friend. I have been through a lot since you left and you were there every step of the way to pick me back up. You cleaned up my breakdowns and only made me stronger. You saved me Jonathan and in many more ways then one. You have been through just as much as I have and I know I haven't always made it easier, I want to apologize for that and SO much more. You're an incredible person and you deserve the best and then some. I want nothing more then to give that to you. I'm so grateful that I'm the woman you have decided to spend the rest of your life with. I'm honored to be your wife and I completely devote myself to you. Never again will you hurt on account of me and I promise you 50 years + of the most romantic years of your life. I'll stop at nothing to make you smile. You're my world and I know I could never live without you.

Thank you for everything baby. Thank you for coming into my life, for making me the happiest I have ever been, for changing me for the good, for flipping my world right side up and for promising to be there till death do us part.
2 months shy of a year we will be standing face to face, my other half will finally be back home and things will make sense again. We made it hun, it was one hell of a bumpy scary ride but we made it. I would do it all over again in a heart beat.. would you?... I love you Jonathan Ivan Rivera.

38 Days and counting…

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